why does it bug me

seriously, why does it bug me, why do I lose sleep over this stuff. I just can't fathom why some folks think it is OK. Say one thing and do another. what is up with that? I understand manipulation, and the line between persuasion and manipulation is a fine one indeed. And I have some talent in the persuasion department, but. BUT... someone in my life, likely my parents instilled in me the value of honesty. fairness, of doing the right thing. And so I use my skill to persuade when I need people to be on board,when I see a greater good. That sounds pretty elitist. But I am always honest. and the evidence is there, people trust me. really really trust me. that's scary. And so I believe that brings us all to where we need to be, BUT

Why does it drive me completely around the freaking bend when others use their skills to this what may feel to them the same end? Because they are not being honest, and the motives are not disclosed. I know they think this is for the greater good, so am I so different? Am I rationalizing my skill, and judging theirs. I don't know, but it sure as hell irks me. Irks. what a great word. I am Irked. In a big way so I need to do something. I looked up irk...it means angered, gall. no wonder I have heart burn in the night when I rail over and over again in my mind. I am so freaking irked. Rise up oh shit disturber par excellence. say your piece. because you have to. that darn value system so annoying

November morning

Facebook has lost it's lustre. I scroll and click and search for interesting tidbids from others lives. Often the well is dry. I hesitate to post my thoughts, I am censoring myself. Weird. I did follow a link a few weeks back that gave some good advice. Write out the "stuff" that is in your head. Everyday. Especially the crap. So I'm going to try it. There is a whack of stuff in my head that needs to get out. Hang on for the ride, it might not be pretty.